nba predictions

yesterday on tv i saw three sports analysts boldly give their predictions for the nba finals. the season started last night. one said the lakers vs orlando (same as last year), another said the lakers vs cleveland (same as what everyone predicted last year), and the other said san antonio vs cleveland (same as two years ago). they were really going out on a limb this time.

my prediction is the portland trailblazers vs the philadelphia 76ers. the blazers will have the best record in the nba this year. you heard it here first, folks.

don't live every day like it's your birthday

it was my birthday on tuesday, and as per tradition (a tradition that i started last year) i took the day off and just did whatever the heck i wanted on by birthday. i eat what i want, i watch what i want, i drink alcohol in the morning, and it's great. it's how birthdays should be. at the time, i came up with a lovely motto: 'live every day like it's your birthday.' this motto probably exists somewhere, but i soon realized that it is horrible horrible advice. if i lived everyday like it was my birthday, i would be dead within a year. and my lifestyle on my birthday isn't even that bad.

here's what i did:

• woke up early, opened presents. my wife bought be some chocolates and skittles
• my wife made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. i also had two large mugs of coffee, one of which had a healthy dose of kamora
  
• watched the price is right
• showered
• went to chili's for lunch. we shared classic nachos (which are the most perfect nachos i've ever had) and some fajitas. but i ate about 80% of the food on the table, while my wife had 20%
• came home, watched tv all afternoon whilst eating chocolates and skittles
• we were too ill from lunch to eat supper, so we ate birthday cake instead
• put the baby to bed, then i lied on the couch, watched more tv, ate more chocolates and skittles, and made my delicious drink invention - amaretto, orange juice, and raspberry syrup.
  

while this is pretty tame (ie no binge drinking) note the amount of sugar i ate and how little i moved. if this continued, i would gain 100 pounds and die of a diabetic coma. don't live every day like it's your birthday.

the easiest job in the world award

2nd runner up for easiest job in the world: pinch runner for a major league baseball team. you sit on the bench most of the time. in rare situations, you enter in the game for the purpose of running.

1st runner up: third-base coach for a major league baseball team. you stand by third base and tell the runner to either stop at third, or go home.

and the easiest job in the world award goes to: first-base coach for a major league baseball team. you stand by first base and tell the runner to stop at first or go to second. the first-base coach has a slight advantage over the third-base coach in terms of ease, because the third-base coach has slightly more responsibility.

i am unsure why any of these positions exist, and i'm sure they pay more than my current job.

i could write more about the baffling sport of baseball, like why they play 162 regular season games, and only 13 to 21 games in the playoffs, or why the abbreviation for a strikeout is 'k' and the abbreviation for a walk is 'bb' - i'll save that for a future entry.

bobby brown: ahead of his time

if this track was released today, it would be a HIT! commercial radio would love it, pitchfork would love it, your mother would love it.



i wonder what LA and Babyface are doing right now?

some things i won't miss about summer

i love fall. i love wearing warm sweaters and light jackets, walking through leaves, etc. here in saskatchewan though, the fall season lasted 3 days. at the end of september, it was 33 degrees, then things were normal, then 3 days later, snow, wind, and cold. so to help soften the blow of winter, i like to think about the things i will not miss about the summer:
allergies - i seem to be allergic to pollen. all summer i have a runny nose, a runny eye, and i sneeze on everything.

• no shirts - i'm not just talking about old shirtless men. what is much much worse are young muscular men playing shirtless frisbee in the park, even when it's not really that warm out. is a shirt really that constricting while throwing a frisbee or football? they're just doing it to impress the ladies - unfortunately, it probably works. they also make me feel bad about myself, because my shirt never ever comes off.
  
• people showing off their skills - related to above. my wife and i often each lunch in the park. we often get a hackey-sack in the back of the head. we also get to listen to the soothing sounds of inexperienced djembe players.
  
• business casual summer clothes - i work in an office. the dress code is business casual, which is fine in the winter months because i get to wear sweaters. unfortunately a sweater doesn't work on a hot summer day, which means that i'm forced to dress like my dad: dockers and a golf shirt tucked in.
• teenagers - i remember being a teenager in the summer. there was nothing to do but wander around. now, teenagers wander outside my house, and i don't like it. these teenagers like to throw eggs at my car and break its windows.
  
• getting into a hot car - i suppose it's better than getting into a cold car in the winter, but in the summer sun, you could cook a stew in my car.
  

i sound like a cranky old man. there are, however, many more things i love about summer, but also many more things i hate about winter.