i am no fun

i've been told several times that i am no fun. here are some people who are less fun than i:

people on diets
exhibit a: they have coined the phrase "nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

if you ever go to a restaurant with someone on a diet, prepare to have no fun. you will be criticized no matter what you order ("there's alot of carbs in that pasta there") and you will have to hear about all the nutritional benefits of the spinach salad they just ordered. i'm quite sure mozza burgers taste much better than thin feels. i used to be thin, and i was miserable. almost as miserable as people on diets.

people who exercise
exhibit a: your facebook friend's bench press update

the gym is one of the least fun places in the whole wide world. go to an underdeveloped country and try to explain to people the concept of recreational exercise. it will blow their minds as to how boring and unnecessary that is. for those of you who do exercise, just know that we are not impressed by how much you exercise, even though i am sure that you will let me know anyways.

food snobs
exhibit a: the popularity if 'asian fusion'

food snobs will make you feel guilty for enjoying food. that is my new definition of no fun. i feel guilty enough for eating fast food, chips, and slurpees from the people on diets, so i don't need to feel guilty because the food i eat "isn't real food." you know what the three best restaurants in the whole world are? taco bell, IHOP, and chili's. food snobs will pretend to despise such places, and secretly (or perhaps openly) despise you for enjoying them.

workaholics
exhibit a: your co-workers

i am convinced that most workaholics have become such because they do not like their families, so they would rather spend their time at work. it's great if you love, or even like, your job. but if you love your job so much that you spend extra time on it - that your job is better than free time to do whatever you want - you are no fun. for the workaholic, they would rather work than do anything else! this is remarkable. me:"say, what are you doing this weekend?" you:"putting in some extra work for a company that doesn't really care about me. you?" me:"i'm going to eat some nachos and watch some march madness. then i'm going to have a nap. then i'll listen to some records before heading out to chili's to have dinner with friends" who is more fun, me or you? me.